Tuesday, April 06, 2004
(tell me) where do we go from here?
jus got home from trng, and it was absolutely dandy sparring with SNGS.. thanks for coming down, gals. =>
but on an entirely different note, today was just one of those days. currently, i have a million and one different songs playing in my head, familiar lines are calling out to me - have i told you lately/the curtains close with a kiss/but we walk alone in fear/where do we go from here. and i think that's it's really weird how each song manages to whisper in my ear exactly how im feeling now, but yet i'm finding it so very hard to configure my chendol smoothie of emotions into words.
oddly enough, the most pertinent question to me through my ride home, was very simply, what is love? and to a certain extent, i think it's scary how i automatically associate my answer to this question with an image of your hands. i can almost imagine you wrapping your arms around me; enveloping me in your warmth. i can vision myself shifting my body oh-so-slightly just so that i can fit into you a little better, shyly lowering my head to revel in the reality that he is holding me again and then gradually lifting my eyes to meet yours.. our eyes will kiss, and your gaze taking me in will make me feel both self-conscious, inadequate and so very loved at the same time. the ghost of you will then gently run your fingertips along the length of my arm, and if one day i find a way to describe how a hundred-thousand nerves explode at your every carress, i promise that i will write a book on it - simply because (in my opinion) it is singularly -the- most complex, amazing and basic feeling that encompasses how much i miss you and how much i crave your touch every moment of everyday.
is it even humanly possible to feel so much for someone within the span of a moment? quite frankly, i don't know the answer, and attempting to answer what is possibly just pure rhetoric will very probably send me down a never-ending spiral of trying fruitlessly to define things that mean too much to too many people.
and so, eventhough today is still~ just one of those days, i have come to the simple conclusion that the bottomline, very basically, is, i feel for you.
and because of that, everything else -is- self-explanatory. 'nuff said.
ily.