Sunday, September 28, 2003
[numb]
i feel like ranting. the following will not make sense. bear with me.
//
i have decided that the physical manifestation of love is pain. (do you know that i cant bear -not- reaching out to you?) but all this pain seems to have created an inexplicable barrier btwn us. i know - it's NOT your fault. i placed it there myself. i mean, protection thru pain? i dont know. its weird but im feeling this innate need to protect myself now, and caving in/walling up sounds like a pretty gd plan to me. i hate myself for being entrenched in this situation. i want my blade back.
im sorry. i truly am. but i cant help loving you anyway.
forgive me okay?
[to the unknown beloved this...
je t'aime.
mon coeur est a vous.]
phangz. ily.